i promise

i promise

this i promise to myself today
that one day i will be much more than mediocre. i will use my differences to be something more than a plan B. I will use my voice to shout, but not through anger. I will use my fists to fight, but not to hurt. I will use my legs to run, but not from problems. For every tear lost over basing my happiness on another person, I will see as letting go of caring what they think. I will stop looking up so much and start looking back.And i will stop wasting time for the sake of ease and let people react how they want to react. For all the times i was told "you're wrong", i will use my stubbornness to prove I'm right, and when I'm still wrong, I'll have the humility to admit it. I'll break my pride for apology, and bite my tongue for peace. But I'll be more than mediocre. For all those who doubted, and even for the times i doubted myself, i'll show people that I'm better than my insecurities, I'm better than my hinderances, and I'm stronger than my stop signs. I will be impulsive but I won't act on impluse, I will be open, but not transparent, I will be accepting but not apathetic. I will be more than mediocre. One day I will not be dissapointed in myself, the same way i carry around others' dissapointment of me like a jacket. I will stop following, and start leading, even if it means walking behind. I will live through my actions rather than by word. I won't do it through pride, I won't do it through conceit, nor even deceit, nor for the sake of revenge. I'll wear a smile on my face, but grit my teeth as i strive. I will be more than mediocre. and this today....i promise myself.