post secret sunday
i realized that it's okay to care. in every aspect other than caring that other people care that you care. who cares about that.
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i realized that it's okay to care. in every aspect other than caring that other people care that you care. who cares about that.
today told me to tell you..
1) it's not better to choose peace over your morals, over your points of view, over your beliefs...but you just have decide the smartest time, and the smartest way to fight for them
2) the best lesson to learn is to get your nose out of the air to realize that it's runny...
3) always ask why. people aren't the way they are for no reason at all.
4) leave your heart like a retractable dog leash. Always open...but if needed, at the click of the button, can be reeled back in and locked.
5) Never say goodbyes too early. period.
to you girl,
you know who you are...
someone told me once about taking a chance with someone, and they were afraid to because they didn't want to ruin the solid friendship they'd created over time. They even said that they shouldn't because once they cross the line, they can't really go back over it. Another friend is going through the same thing to an extent, so here's what i have to regurgitate from talking to the first friend.
"It's like a basketball player. He can be a great basketball player on his driveway, and practice there and be comfortable there. Or he could get on a real court, and be an amazing player with the practice and coaching that would make him so"....it's up to you.
lesson learned
my mouth is my achilles heel. Sometimes i say things without thinking.....scratch that. I say a lot of things without thinking. I'm impulsive, and speak based on either emotion, or the conception that it's a good idea to say something, and don't really think about the consequences of it. Driving home from the mall with my dad though I realized that as angry as i could be at someone, or as frustrated as i could be at someone, sometimes it's better to just say "I'm sorry" or to make peace or to NOT say everything else you'd rather say. For a while i thought it was better to be open and honest with people, to not keep secrets or beat around a bush or to hide something, but i realized now that even if it's good to be honest with people....you should NOT be open with EVERYBODY. I'm not saying keep your mouth closed unless you need to, but when you have to make sure that what comes out of it is thought out and useful (note to myself).
lesson learned.
window pane: watching someone leave out the window
most of the time we don't go out and get what we want, even when we know we have the power to, and even when we know we have the confidence to.....because we want to see if it comes to us first.
-mr gibs.
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-mr gibs.
prayers answered
is it too much to ask that you take it away.
Take it back to when things were okay
Can I trust you to heal me when all else has failed
To keep me alive
To strengthen my will
Am I out of line if I ask you to hear
To listen and help; draw yourself near
I want to move on
Die to the past
I try to step slowly
But my heart takes it fast
Can you unburden my back
Loosen the load
Can you show me the path
When there’s a fork in the road
Will you walk there beside me
Will you carry me through
Can you give me a map
When I can’t find a clue
I’m asking for mercy because I know that you’re there
I know you’ll help when there’s too much to bear
But I wish you’d speak louder
Because there’s dirt in my ears
Dirt that’s accumulated from over the years
Shout please. Just give me a sign
Let me know that soon I’ll be fine.
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Take it back to when things were okay
Can I trust you to heal me when all else has failed
To keep me alive
To strengthen my will
Am I out of line if I ask you to hear
To listen and help; draw yourself near
I want to move on
Die to the past
I try to step slowly
But my heart takes it fast
Can you unburden my back
Loosen the load
Can you show me the path
When there’s a fork in the road
Will you walk there beside me
Will you carry me through
Can you give me a map
When I can’t find a clue
I’m asking for mercy because I know that you’re there
I know you’ll help when there’s too much to bear
But I wish you’d speak louder
Because there’s dirt in my ears
Dirt that’s accumulated from over the years
Shout please. Just give me a sign
Let me know that soon I’ll be fine.
i promise
this i promise to myself today
that one day i will be much more than mediocre. i will use my differences to be something more than a plan B. I will use my voice to shout, but not through anger. I will use my fists to fight, but not to hurt. I will use my legs to run, but not from problems. For every tear lost over basing my happiness on another person, I will see as letting go of caring what they think. I will stop looking up so much and start looking back.And i will stop wasting time for the sake of ease and let people react how they want to react. For all the times i was told "you're wrong", i will use my stubbornness to prove I'm right, and when I'm still wrong, I'll have the humility to admit it. I'll break my pride for apology, and bite my tongue for peace. But I'll be more than mediocre. For all those who doubted, and even for the times i doubted myself, i'll show people that I'm better than my insecurities, I'm better than my hinderances, and I'm stronger than my stop signs. I will be impulsive but I won't act on impluse, I will be open, but not transparent, I will be accepting but not apathetic. I will be more than mediocre. One day I will not be dissapointed in myself, the same way i carry around others' dissapointment of me like a jacket. I will stop following, and start leading, even if it means walking behind. I will live through my actions rather than by word. I won't do it through pride, I won't do it through conceit, nor even deceit, nor for the sake of revenge. I'll wear a smile on my face, but grit my teeth as i strive. I will be more than mediocre. and this today....i promise myself.
sup bloggassss
i feel so cliche saying that
you know in the movies where the person's narration comes on as you see them blogging on their computer. "hey bloggers, for all those who are awake and reading this..." blah blah.
well i guess i'm talking to you then..
you can't be too careful anymore. No for real. It's the end of grade twelve and whatever you want to say, you might as well say it now. Whatever you want to experience, you might as well experience now. Whatever apologies you need to get over, you might as well do it now....
You can't guard your heart right now. You can't beat around the bush.
just say what you mean. and mean what you say.
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you know in the movies where the person's narration comes on as you see them blogging on their computer. "hey bloggers, for all those who are awake and reading this..." blah blah.
well i guess i'm talking to you then..
you can't be too careful anymore. No for real. It's the end of grade twelve and whatever you want to say, you might as well say it now. Whatever you want to experience, you might as well experience now. Whatever apologies you need to get over, you might as well do it now....
You can't guard your heart right now. You can't beat around the bush.
just say what you mean. and mean what you say.
who knew that the day you let us make our own decisions was the day that you'd kick us out of the family if we didn't choose your way.
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1) it's weird to think we were ever alike...because now that i talk to you, now that i see you again, i can't imagine that we were ever the same person. Who changed? me? you?...both i guess. And as much as i'd like to, i can't block you out of my life. Not that i'd necessarily want to, but...yknow...we just do not get along.
2) i've tried. I've tried to show you. I've tried to let you see, that i'm going to be me. I'm going to find my own faith, my own way. And being part of a family does not mean being a christian. You'd realize that isn't it about helping me as much as you can, and then letting me do the rest? It's my belief, its my life. I'm not saying i don't believe, but if you force me to go....i'll run.
3) I'm sorry I've been mia. i just needed the break. that's all. You'll still always be one of my #1's. forever and ever. Despite our differences, you've been here the whole time, and i wouldnt want to see you leave.
4) I know, and im sorry. I should have said something, but its selfish and thats why i didn't. But sometimes...only sometimes...i feel like what i have to say doesn't matter as much...
5) let me get my N....its my right. not a privelege. you don't get to determine that. you can't blackmail me
6) thanks for being the big sister and the little sister. You pull your weight a lot more than you should
7) i'm tired of pretending to care...goodbye.
8) yes i still remember you, i just don't have the energy to reunite. I still think about you, but...thats all.
9) i'm not ready to say goodbye, but at the same time curious to see whats ahead
10) you choose sides...its not fair, but i guess thats life. That's how you work, and i'm sorry it turned out that way.
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2) i've tried. I've tried to show you. I've tried to let you see, that i'm going to be me. I'm going to find my own faith, my own way. And being part of a family does not mean being a christian. You'd realize that isn't it about helping me as much as you can, and then letting me do the rest? It's my belief, its my life. I'm not saying i don't believe, but if you force me to go....i'll run.
3) I'm sorry I've been mia. i just needed the break. that's all. You'll still always be one of my #1's. forever and ever. Despite our differences, you've been here the whole time, and i wouldnt want to see you leave.
4) I know, and im sorry. I should have said something, but its selfish and thats why i didn't. But sometimes...only sometimes...i feel like what i have to say doesn't matter as much...
5) let me get my N....its my right. not a privelege. you don't get to determine that. you can't blackmail me
6) thanks for being the big sister and the little sister. You pull your weight a lot more than you should
7) i'm tired of pretending to care...goodbye.
8) yes i still remember you, i just don't have the energy to reunite. I still think about you, but...thats all.
9) i'm not ready to say goodbye, but at the same time curious to see whats ahead
10) you choose sides...its not fair, but i guess thats life. That's how you work, and i'm sorry it turned out that way.
we live with no regrets
I don't believe in regrets. I mean sure teen pregnancy, not studying for a test and then failing it?? those can be seen as regrets. But on the broader sense, I believe that nobody should regret anything in life. Of course there are exceptions, but you know what i mean...
No one should regret though because I believe that everything we go through in life happens for a reason. yes i'm a believer in this cliche. But the thing is, we learn through everything we do in life, so why miss out on the opportunity to become a stronger person due to a tough situation you may have regarded as a regret. That's why i'm impulsive, i jump into situations without really thinking about it. Which is bad, but its also taught me a lot of things, because live without regrets. I don't live thinking "if only i had...".
Everything happens for a reason.
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No one should regret though because I believe that everything we go through in life happens for a reason. yes i'm a believer in this cliche. But the thing is, we learn through everything we do in life, so why miss out on the opportunity to become a stronger person due to a tough situation you may have regarded as a regret. That's why i'm impulsive, i jump into situations without really thinking about it. Which is bad, but its also taught me a lot of things, because live without regrets. I don't live thinking "if only i had...".
Everything happens for a reason.
we lived and we learned
first day of school, and you bit your nails to eat away the nerves
you load your desk with new pencil crayons, arranged like the rainbow
the first teardrop comes when you watch your mom walk out the door
and then you get a little scared, cause you're realize your alone
your best friend becomes the girl you sat beside
and you shared your favorite dolls
but then came time to move along, and you left that year behind
and that's the heartbreak of highschool
the regret of goodbyes
the faces of unforgettable that slowly fade with time
its the signatures in every yearbook that pile upon a shelf
its gonna be a long road to recovery
its gonna take time to believe that the biggest problems
we thought were world altering, were only mind altering
and even then only for the moment
time to realize the hands we held were only to fill the space
but there's always goodbyes, there's never forevers
and sooner or later no one remembers
the times we cried over love lost and stress
or who at grad wore the prettiest dress
the last day of middle school, you were the top of the chain
and as you walked down the halls they all knew your name
you could be as loud as you wanted, or the quiet nobody
because next year you knew was going to be different
next year was highschool, next year was fun
and before you even knew it, grade nine had begun
and you walked out of smallville and into the game
into the house of good times and pain
and that's the heartbreak of highschool
the regret of goodbyes
the faces of unforgettable that slowly fade with time
its the signatures in every yearbook that pile upon a shelf
its gonna be a long road to recovery
its gonna take time to believe that the biggest problems
we thought were world altering, were only mind altering
and even then only for the moment
time to realize the hands we held were only to fill the space
but there's always goodbyes, there's never forevers
and sooner or later no one remembers
the times we cried over love lost and stress
or who at grad wore the prettiest dress
final year, your closing months, and you realize your friendships
were everything to you, the books you studied, the animals disected
were nothing more than required marks,
but the people you did it with, the shared schedules and locker buddies
were where the memories came from
and as your graduation cap falls back down to the ground
the last tears fall with it as you look around
you're saying goodbye, you're doing it right
this is the most unforgettable goodnight
and that's the heartbreak of highschool
the regret of goodbyes
the faces of unforgettable that slowly fade with time
its the signatures in every yearbook that pile upon a shelf
its gonna be a long road to recovery
its gonna take time to believe that the biggest problems
we thought were world altering, were only mind altering
and even then only for the moment
time to realize the hands we held were only to fill the space
but there's always goodbyes, there's never forevers
and sooner or later no one remembers
the times we cried over love lost and stress
or who at grad wore the prettiest dress
Read more »
you load your desk with new pencil crayons, arranged like the rainbow
the first teardrop comes when you watch your mom walk out the door
and then you get a little scared, cause you're realize your alone
your best friend becomes the girl you sat beside
and you shared your favorite dolls
but then came time to move along, and you left that year behind
and that's the heartbreak of highschool
the regret of goodbyes
the faces of unforgettable that slowly fade with time
its the signatures in every yearbook that pile upon a shelf
its gonna be a long road to recovery
its gonna take time to believe that the biggest problems
we thought were world altering, were only mind altering
and even then only for the moment
time to realize the hands we held were only to fill the space
but there's always goodbyes, there's never forevers
and sooner or later no one remembers
the times we cried over love lost and stress
or who at grad wore the prettiest dress
the last day of middle school, you were the top of the chain
and as you walked down the halls they all knew your name
you could be as loud as you wanted, or the quiet nobody
because next year you knew was going to be different
next year was highschool, next year was fun
and before you even knew it, grade nine had begun
and you walked out of smallville and into the game
into the house of good times and pain
and that's the heartbreak of highschool
the regret of goodbyes
the faces of unforgettable that slowly fade with time
its the signatures in every yearbook that pile upon a shelf
its gonna be a long road to recovery
its gonna take time to believe that the biggest problems
we thought were world altering, were only mind altering
and even then only for the moment
time to realize the hands we held were only to fill the space
but there's always goodbyes, there's never forevers
and sooner or later no one remembers
the times we cried over love lost and stress
or who at grad wore the prettiest dress
final year, your closing months, and you realize your friendships
were everything to you, the books you studied, the animals disected
were nothing more than required marks,
but the people you did it with, the shared schedules and locker buddies
were where the memories came from
and as your graduation cap falls back down to the ground
the last tears fall with it as you look around
you're saying goodbye, you're doing it right
this is the most unforgettable goodnight
and that's the heartbreak of highschool
the regret of goodbyes
the faces of unforgettable that slowly fade with time
its the signatures in every yearbook that pile upon a shelf
its gonna be a long road to recovery
its gonna take time to believe that the biggest problems
we thought were world altering, were only mind altering
and even then only for the moment
time to realize the hands we held were only to fill the space
but there's always goodbyes, there's never forevers
and sooner or later no one remembers
the times we cried over love lost and stress
or who at grad wore the prettiest dress
i tried listening to my head
i'm going to miss this. Honestly right now, i'm trying to seperate my heart and my head. I'm trying to numb out the deep ache in my heart, and i'm trying to think about other things...but it's too late for that. The momentum of grad is carrying us towards at time where all we'll have left is the images on facebook, the yearbook write up's, and the passing thoughts of the good times we had. I wish it were easier. I wish that everyone could stay and we could all come back to school next september. I can't imagine not...i mean it's so normal seeing the familiar faces in the hall. going to the pod and knowing that there'll be someone there that you can talk to, even if its not one of your closer friends. I guess grad camping brought that out of me. Seeing everyone together, having fun, but knowing all along...we're just building up the goodbyes.
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once upon a time i knew you
i feel like i've been seperating acquaintances from true friendships. Drawing in the ones that matter and focusing purely on strengthening and opening myself up to the ones that are close to me rather than seeking out new friendships....
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