post secret post.
A
i miss school.
i miss essays and reading text and listening to lectures
in class discussions and petty assignments that make you feel accomplished
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i miss essays and reading text and listening to lectures
in class discussions and petty assignments that make you feel accomplished
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hair elastic
so tired of the small talk from big mouths
all the things i'd like to do with my life
seem completely pointless
if you're doing it alone
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all the things i'd like to do with my life
seem completely pointless
if you're doing it alone
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support
i feel me slipping away some days.
i honestly never realized the importance of support from friends and family in life til i lost it. Not so much from friends, but even then still my close friendships have been on a technological basis vs a physical one, but more so from my family. I'm the "do no right" child. I wonder how much of it is true vs being just the norm of the family now. Either way...it's hard to be happy about where you're going in life when you're doing it alone
on a little bit of an unrelated note, i think that if you tell someone they're something enough.....they eventually become it (to an extent of course). But i mean like...if you tell someone "you're miserable", they eventually do become miserable. At least around you they do. And sometimes i wonder how much of our family dynamic is from us telling each other we're something, and we eventually all became it.
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i honestly never realized the importance of support from friends and family in life til i lost it. Not so much from friends, but even then still my close friendships have been on a technological basis vs a physical one, but more so from my family. I'm the "do no right" child. I wonder how much of it is true vs being just the norm of the family now. Either way...it's hard to be happy about where you're going in life when you're doing it alone
on a little bit of an unrelated note, i think that if you tell someone they're something enough.....they eventually become it (to an extent of course). But i mean like...if you tell someone "you're miserable", they eventually do become miserable. At least around you they do. And sometimes i wonder how much of our family dynamic is from us telling each other we're something, and we eventually all became it.
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seventeen
1 Hear, O LORD, my righteous plea;
listen to my cry.
Give ear to my prayer—
it does not rise from deceitful lips.
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listen to my cry.
Give ear to my prayer—
it does not rise from deceitful lips.
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optimistry
it's so weird...
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ask me a month ago and i would have said that i was still dying, still living in the past, still wishing things were different. And yes there are occasions i still wish our group of friends were all together, all still conjoined...but this weekend revealed a secret to me about myself.
I'm actually HAPPY with life right now. The new friendships, new experiences, new people, as well as keeping in touch with the people that have meant so much to me...makes me realize im SO GLAD to be out of the bubble.
I still regret lost friendships yes, but i also realize that sometimes life has other plans in store, and just because certain relationships struggle, doesn't mean they didn't still drastically influence you. There are honestly SO many people in this world, so many opportunities. Not all of them great, some of them not even good. But hang onto the ones that are, and seek out the ones to come
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4:30 wakeup call
I'm exhausted...i had to wake up at 4:30 to drive "my dad" to the airport....turns out it wasn't only my dad, but also a few players from matthew's soccer team as well as one of their parents. Good thing i had gotten out of my pajamas...
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Anyways, the point is, as we were driving my dad goes "shoot"...and then gets really quiet. I turn to him and ask what's wrong and he goes "i forgot to hug ashley goodbye" as if he wasn't going to see her for years. He continued in silence for the next little bit so i asked, "it's really bugging you isn't it?". He just nodded. It was then that i realized that despite how he acts, or certain differences, he cares more than he lets on.
good morning.
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