I'm probably just PMSing...just saying.

I'm probably just PMSing...just saying.

i understand that i was the one who ruined our family...i get it. When i refused to join the activities because of my illness, it disrupted the flow of life. I'm sorry for that. But now its better if i just disengage. I can't be a part of it. Things have changed too much. What happened to the family that used to be so strong. That used to be so unbreakable. I have to step away...its better this way. But i remember the good times. I remember being close to Kristie, best friends almost. I remember the nights she would come and sit on my bed and we'd talk for hours. I remember her asking me if I thoughts he was a nerd. I remember being close to Ashley, when she'd call me everyday just to make sure i wasn't lonely in North Van, or how she was the only one who would talk to me about the things i was going through. I remember being close to my dad. The strong person in my life who never failed me. Who came into my room whenever i was upset and just talked with me. The one who pushed me to a better person, but did it lovingly. I remember how he would take me out for coffee and how he came to my soccer games, how he always told me how proud he was of me. I remember being close to my mom...she turned into the one i could always talk to. The one i identified with when her and my dad fought. How she understood me better...

The past was yesterday though. What i wouldn't give to see that day again.