sometimes we get lost along the way

sometimes we get lost along the way

"so many times we look forward, hoping to visualize the better, more put together, more in touch with ourself, version of who we see and want to be, this black concrete image....but i've come to realize that sometimes when you look back, you realize that that black concrete visualization can sometimes become a grey mess you now sit in. So you say you'll go back to the way you used to be and try again. But there is no going back, there only is going forward. The new black image affected by the old grey mess. And what makes you think that your perfect black image will stay there, put together, like a finish line you're working towards. Along the way you forget what your goal looked like to begin with. It is only ever useful if you're building your concrete black image in the present rather than the future..."
-mr gibs

i told myself that to become the better version of me, i'd take a step back from what i thought was fake christianity and so later on i'd be able to take two steps forward. But whenever you take a step back from something in order to take two steps forward, you'll never take those two steps in the same direction....in fact, your forward could have been your backwards, meaning you really just took three steps back.
I thought in order to become the "real" version of me, i'd live in reality rather than the bubble i found life had created for me. But now more than ever, i've realized that by trying to open my eyes more, i just closed them to the points of view i didn't want to deal with. I was so convinced that my trials of trying to figure out what i wanted as my morals and values were effectively turning me into someone real...i was wrong.

thank you kristie. we don't always agree, but the things that stuck in my mind are pushing points for me and i can't say i didn't agree with them. I agreed with a lot. Mind you its about how we go about them that makes us different.