resort.

resort.

It's funny...
i mean...there's really NOTHING funny about it, but it's ironic. I've gotten really really sick over the last little while. Understatement on "really"...but my point is, i've gone to the doctor tons thess past few weeks and each time i've gotten different tests, and different medications...all which are really doing absolutely nothing except make me feel nauseous as one of the side effects.

Honestly i've gone to pick up prescriptions for this and that cause maybe it'll work, maybe it won't.. "we'll see".
But then i found another thing that could maybe help. Prayer. Added that to the list of possibilities, last resort kind of deal just in case the other medication didn't put me out of my pain.

I always just expect it to be like that. "when all else fails.....pray". I know it shouldn't be like that, but it's also so uncertain. There's a possibility he could answer our prayers, and there's the possibility he couldn't. Which is the biggest load of shit in itself. Cause God always answers our prayers, just not always in the way we want. My point is though, that's the thing...we try and get it to be the "way we want". So we leave that option til last.

anyhow...here i am. Last resorts, and i'm sorry God, cause you shoulda been my first. But please help me. please.